The text titled “scene 3: on the Grotesque side of ___” is an excerpt from my ongoing project “I Have Nothing to Hide.” It reads as a confession, a stream of consciousness, observations and thoughts so trivial and mundane they become unbearable, suffocating, accumulating into total abstraction. It flirts with the lifestyle of self-surveillance, seeking the real in Baudrillard’s sense and its counterparts, spoken as casually as a have a great day tossed over an email sign-off, yet it’s hard to tell. Some statements are performed, tailored to please the sanitized appetite for good taste, irony, and bitter sarcasm. Taking pride in hyper self-awareness, the narrator, the baddie, makes fun of themselves. This is self-care and shameless intoxication.